Should I Bother with Flowers for a Civil Ceremony?
There is endless inspiration for traditional, and even micro weddings online but the flexibility and scaled back size of a civil ceremony (or elopement) can be a much less obvious path to what you could or should do. Should a bridal bouquet be a part of your civil ceremony?
My own elopement bridal bouquet in 2016.
As a flower farmer (now) I’m always a little sheepish to admit that flowers were not even on my radar as being a part of my own wedding in 2016.
It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that Bravehearts handfasting ‘wedding’ was kind of what I pictured for myself. I had never dreamed of having much of a wedding, though I had dreamed of the dress and the guy. So when it was time to make things official, we decided that an elopement would serve us best.
Then came the details. Blissfully, not many. The photographer was a friend, the wedding dress I saw while riding home on my bicycle from work, tried it on (only 1 dress!) and bought the sample straight off the rack, rings were made by a family member, hair and makeup I managed to book Rachel Renna who I had worked with as a model previously (this was before she went on to be part of the bridal party team for the Royal wedding in 2018!). After not too much debate, we settled on an Airbnb cottage for the location (because we wanted to include our dogs and city hall said no). I didn’t even wear shoes on the big day! Flowers were not even on my to-do list.
I had a few candles and mason jars but that was the extent of ‘wedding decor’. Yet with days to go, I kept feeling like I was missing something. I didn’t even know where to start with wedding flowers. Could I walk into a florist and just grab something off the shelf? Did I need to pre-order, I’ve definitely left it too late for that haven’t I? I really didn’t want to spend much and aren’t bridal bouquets super expensive because they are attached to the word ‘wedding’?! Eeek! So again, on my bicycle, I rode past a little market shop that always had cute, colourful bouquets in buckets and spontaneously pulled over and grabbed a bouquet.
Morning of the wedding I didn’t even know what to do with them, or how to care for them. My MUA was the one who told me to keep them cold as long as possible to keep them fresh. I split the bunch in half, not even rearranging it and ended up hacking the stems shorter with a steak knife just before getting dressed because I didn’t like how long the stems were. Oh how far I’ve come in my relationship with flowers.
So why did I suddenly decide to opt for flowers despite having such a pared back wedding ceremony?
Tradition was a big factor. I had the white dress, and even though I was forgoing a lot of the details that weddings include, I was drawn to the traditional bouquet. Some traditions will grab a hold of you and others won’t, this one ended up calling to me.
Part of my worry and backpaddling was that they would be expensive, fussy and too delicate. Wedding flowers definitely can be, but flowers are not all equal. These were cheap imported, and I assumed durable after likely flying in and surviving how many different exchanges before making it to that shop. They could handle getting squashed into the car with all the other stuff and 2 dogs and if they didn’t, well the loss wasn’t that great.
Something to do with my hands; I can’t recall if this was a thought when picking them up or just later at the wedding itself. Having a bouquet gave my hands something to do, somewhere to focus and fidget and helped pull my shoulders back for a more confident walk. If I wanted to tuck a tissue or write vows, they would have made a great place to stash or blend those items in.
Afterwards, looking back at the pictures I was really grateful that I had the flowers there. They served as a prop in the pictures, added pops of colour and (by fluke) coordinated my sisters dress and the fall leaves all together and made it look like I had put far more effort into it then I did.
Do you need to have a bridal bouquet, or any flowers at your civil ceremony or elopement?
Nope! It may be steeped in tradition (scented bouquets to mask the lack of bathing, or combinations of herbs and flowers to ward off evil sprits), but we are free to make our own traditions these days.
Now that I’ve been a bride and had a wedding I would suggest that you do though. Even if it is a single stem, or a little posie you’ve picked from the garden or ditch. It immediately makes you feel more romantic, gives your hands a purpose, and for some helps with body insecurities (covering their tummy). Still some may see it as a nuisance, one other thing to fret over and have to carry and it won’t be worth it for them.
Like my own wedding, I have had brides grab a bouquet from my North Oshawa flower stand to serve as their bridal bouquet. There are industry standards but there are no hard rules for bridal bouquets. It is your special day and you can do whatever will make you feel the most confident and beautiful when it comes to your flowers.
It is my goal with Buying Thyme to connect the community to nature and practice sustainability practices so we can better our patch of the ecosystem. Our flowers invite you to slow down, savor simple joys, and celebrate the beauty of the seasons wherever you take them, but our blog teaches you how you can apply everything we have learned, on your own property! For our Southern Ontario specific gardening tips make sure to peruse our other blog articles here.
Buying Thyme is your local source for seasonal, sustainably grown flowers. Visit our flower stand where we offer locally gown, cut flowers, to Durham Region. All grown right here on our North Oshawa/Hampton micro flower farm.
Unlike most florists offerings, these flowers have a negative carbon footprint with no transportation, sprays or pesticides. Each year our collection of Ontario native plants grows, which not only offers more beautiful flowers to our clients but also contributes to restoring the local ecosystem.
To learn more about our floristry services and products or to visit the flower stand click here.
